As the first rays of the sun broke out over the hills and mountains, a voice rose up from his heart, burning and clear, and surging in white waves it spilled to his journal,
‘You wholeheartedly and finally and after a long struggle embrace a path only to discover that, despite the vehemence of your passion, because of it, you are no longer on that path and have stepped out and moved beyond it. You discover that you needed to embrace it, to give in to it completely, “unconditionally,” to live it out down to your deepest marrow and let its songs sing your days and nights for you to let it go and overcome it — for you to overcome yourself! for you to flow into yourself!
‘Into yourself you were always flowing!
‘Now gaze up and lift your head, for ahead of you, in the distance, your goal is shimmering still, now more brilliant than ever, luring you like a woman dressed in her finest garments, breathing towards you her warmest scents. Let your eyes fall upon her like the morning sun now rising falls upon the world — blissful in her abundance, joyful in her resolve.
‘Come along now my failures and victories, up ahead new failures and victories await, another war and overcoming.
Rooted in Love 
Overcome yourself? Die before you die?
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Opening up to death and being released from our shell into the free-flow of life is one such overcoming, yes. But, in the free-flow of life, many others await, many others will always await.
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By dying before dying I was seeking some grand finale in which I can solve the riddle of existence and life and finally rest and find a home — a bosom to hold me: be it that of God, life, or a lover — from all wayward searching and seeking. No such finale exists, and I had to give in to it to finally know that it does not exist. Now I am left humbled before the experience of death, and also strengthened and better disposed to focus the energy in me to progress through life and understanding. This is one port in which I laid anchor for a while, now, again, I am wide at sea and desert, and I cannot be happier. Feelings I never felt are now surging through me, a level of power and clarity I never thought imaginable.
Out of this experience I’ve gone out with many, many sparkling jewels and gems of experience and understanding. I am thankful; and wanting more.
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– The one feeling remaining is addictive-
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Yes, and that is why it is dangerous — because, instead of being a life enhancer, an outward propeller, it could very well become a narcotic, a way stay in while feeling “good” and “spiritual;” it could become a reason and justification to stay right where one is, enjoying the silence.
The thing is, the feeling gets a lot better and clearer once one uses it as a means to go out and sail and discover. It gets a lot more powerful.
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tears – of joy
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