There is a fundamental difference between a sexuality of dominance and one of ecstasy; only in the latter are complementarity, interdependence, and true spiritual union made reality. Only in the latter are the lovers interfused into one. The main difference lies here: whereas one seeks only sexual gratification, pleasure, and control, the other is primarily a spiritual quest that uses interpenetration as means to open up and blend the deepest recesses of being and soul — culminating in an ecstasy that sends the body hurling towards the sky.
I posit that there are those who need the power of dominance to open or access that spirituality, a paradox, if you will.
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Ecstasy isn’t something that speaks against dominance. It throws nothing of the whole gamut that sexuality or the human soul have to offer. Rather, what distinguishes it, I think, is a certain quality it brings to that gamut and with which it approaches sex and the other. That quality is an openness where sex is not pursued for its own end but for spiritual aims. Thus a person might be dominant or aggressive without the relationship being domineering — since love or ecstasy and not domination are the end. So yes, those who are aggressive can only access their spirituality via their aggression and power of dominance; otherwise they would be blocked in their self expression.
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