Wandering Thought # 79

We are creating for ourselves a world in which it is impossible to live; and even if life was still physically possible, it would be undesirable.

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Once it is over we’ll discover it — modernity was a big lie. Modernity — an incredibly rich soil that nonetheless did not allow the growth of anything great.

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Thirty six; the year I discovered the truth about myself.

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Wandering Thought # 78

You will not be a stoic unless you favor your strength of will over the passion of your heart.

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Even us poets feel uncomfortable with harboring a poetic vision of the world. That has become a taboo nowadays, something irrational that requires psychotherapy. The secular, the mathematical, the economic — these are the permitted worldviews, all falling under the arch of Science. But one day it will dawn on mankind that there is something of the poetic in science too; that it, too, is a sort of mythology; that it, too, as the poetic, takes a root in unreason, but that it deceives itself precisely on this point, that is, at the point where it prides itself most.

Wandering Thought # 77

Behind its attempts to charm you insecure love wants to make you dependent on it, it scratches its insecurity by secluding you from the world and possessing you ever more deeply, it shatters your trust in yourself that you may trust it all the more, and exclusively. Insecure love doesn’t see you for yourself and doesn’t desire to gain a deep knowledge of you, it merely sees you as a projection of its own desires and needs, fantasies. Insecure love requires a symbiotic and fusional mode of attachment, but given its unstable core, it will never achieve emotional clarity and openness, it will always desire the other as a way to hide that inside itself it has a child trembling in the dark.

Wandering Thought # 75

Feeling awkward or inadequate in certain social situations, that we are somehow less, is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What we project becomes the truth. We put ourselves off by feeling this way.

Realizing this is deeply liberating because, to our surprise, the world does not hold a grudge against us and has no preconception of us. It is liberating because it allows us to shift our feelings. We suddenly realize we are more powerful than we thought we were, and so are better able to move in our minds and bodies.

Wandering Thought # 72

In school we study everything except how to properly channel and engage our emotions, how to mature through nurturing them — and why? because school is an institution that is not interested in shaping us as human beings, but as serfs for the great economic machines. The study of the humanities is subjugated to that purpose. And, ironically, as human beings, as individuals, it is from the humanities that we benefit the most. It is a shame that the most essential and needful ought to be pursued on our own, through our personal effort, without proper guidance, support, and illumination.

Wandering Thought # 71

I can only admit to a divinity that takes pleasure in heightening the individual and affirming difference, one that does not seek to dissolve him in oneness but understands him as an expression of that oneness. The individual grows in power and distinction the more his heart is open to the divine, the more he becomes its channel. He is its unique expression though he already lives in its heart.